For most women and men, the hardest thing is telling a new partner you’ve had herpes. It’s certainly a difficult matter to bring up, but think of it both ways. If you’ve never been infected and your partner has, I’m sure you’d prefer that he told you. And if you really loved someone, would you be frightened off if he told you he’d had herpes, especially if he promised to do everything possible to avoid infecting you? With herpes so common, when you confess he may breathe a sigh of relief and say ‘I’ve had it too; I was just about to tell you’.
If only one of you is infected, the best way to prevent sharing HSV is to avoid any contact with the affected area from the first suspicion that a recurrence might develop until you’re quite sure that it’s completely cleared up. I know a couple who followed this advice and managed to avoid the husband infecting the wife over 14 years: then she caught it when they knowingly took a chance. They said it was almost a relief after they’d shared it!
Condoms may be useful in reducing the risk of spreading infection from lesions on the penis.
Finally, let me repeat that if you do catch genital herpes, don’t let it get you down.
Try to regard it in the same way as you would oral herpes – as a nasty, unfortunate infection but one that won’t harm your health or happiness in the long run as long as you take reasonable care not to infect anyone else. Don’t let HSV ruin your life: conquer it!
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