This can be easier said than done, particularly if you are not accustomed to talking directly about sex. Remember though, children’s questions are asked in all innocence and the answers do not need to be complicated to satisfy them. A simple, honest explanation will usually do for the moment, although they may well come back to the topic later.
If you’re feeling uncomfortable because you don’t know the answer, it helps to say just that. Parents (like doctors and schoolteachers) hate to say ‘I don’t know’. The words grate on us like long fingernails dragged slowly down a dusty chalkboard. The thing is, sometimes it’s the right answer for the occasion. I prefer to turn it into a positive learning experience for a child. ‘Well, I don’t know … (There now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?) … but we can find out from Mum/Dad/Grandpa/the family doctor/a book when we get home can’t we?’ This approach confirms that it is okay to want to know, and okay to ask, and it opens communication with other trusted adults.
Of course, a child will let you know when they’re bored with anything. Sharon, a colleague of mine, recalls being pregnant with her third baby when her five year old asked the big one: ‘How did it get there in the first place?’ Well, this was it! Sharon explained a few of the basics just to get warmed up and, settling into the comfy lounge chair, all set for the full mother-daughter session, she asked, ‘Now, what else would you like to know?’ … Pause … ‘Where did you buy your new shoes, Mum?’
*7\17\9*
